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Weekly horoscopes: Kiss the frog

 

Let’s face it. You’ve had better Valentine’s Days when you were feeling all slinky and kinky and ready for love. But it’s hard to get into the mood given all the planetary stress factors. Pluto in Capricorn is making you feel like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders, and Saturn in Scorpio isn’t exactly conducive to love and romance. In fact, you’d probably feel hotter taking a cold shower. Moreover, your boyfriend is grumpy, snarky, preoccupied and always eyeing the clock (not to mention the check). He’s acting like a real toad. So what’s a girl to do? You toss the flowers, the chocolates and all the expectations, and you kiss the frog — warts and all. This more than anything will tell him that you get what he’s going through. And, like in the fairytale, you’ll find that a kiss on the lips is all it takes to transform him into a prince.

ARIES (March 20-April 18)

Naturally competitive, you enjoy a good battle of the wits, words and wills. And these sparring matches are really more sporting than they are anything else. However, Pluto at the top of your solar horoscope can escalate things without you knowing it, so that what starts out as good-natured ribbing devolves into something provocative and hostile. Pluto is the planet of what lies beneath the surface, and oftentimes these half-forgotten resentments and papered-over scars are hidden even to us until a planetary energy triggers them. This might explain your volatile reactions on Monday and Wednesday. Temperamental flare-ups are nothing new. You get pissed off about things all the time, and then you get over it pretty quickly; however, Saturn in Scorpio now makes sex and money twin sore points. Not only will you overreact to any innuendos, but you may even start to view people’s off-handed comments with dark suspicion. This is when you need to ask a close friend or relative what they think about what you’re thinking. Chances are they’ll be able to help you put things in proper perspective. Meanwhile, you will be seized by an urge to break off a transaction on Friday and to try your luck with someone else. Rethink it. The Stars show that you are much better off staying the course — that is, if you want to make a profit and not incur a loss.

TAURUS (April 19-May 19)

Things aren’t really going to lighten up with a sourpuss partner until the Sun changes zodiac signs on Feb. 18. Since there’s no winning with this person no matter what you do, it’s best that you do nothing. Follow your Ruling Planet Venus’s maxim which is to agree to disagree, make a point to nod in all the right places to show that you’re listening and let criticisms go in one ear and out the other. Letting this person feel like they’ve won will do a lot to alleviate tensions and give you peace of mind. Meanwhile, you will want to focus on how to improve your quality of life. And we’re talking about something with a longer-lasting effect than retail therapy. Make a list of all of the things that are wrong in your life, and then make a list of all of the things that are right. Chances are that the wrongs outnumber the right (which is understandable given Saturn’s current position in the sky); however, it’s time to start reversing the trend. But how? Start by focusing on one negative and turning it into a positive. It may not seem like much, but you’d be surprised by what can happen in 24 hours. Treat each day as an opportunity to point your nose in the right direction, and you will see how baby steps can grow into great strides in the weeks to come.

GEMINI (May 20-June 19)

You’re apt to feel fuzzy-headed and a tad slow on the uptake while your Ruling Planet Mercury is traveling through the dreamy sign of Pisces. Usually you would just slow down and maintain a low profile, but with the upcoming retrograde extending your planet’s stay through April 13, you’re going to have to find a way to change thinking caps because you simply can’t be out of commission that long. There are some critical decisions to make on Feb. 15 and Feb. 26, and a lot will hang in the balance regarding a tricky negotiation on March 6 and March 29. You should circle these dates on the calendar because there will be a lot riding on what you do. The trick to getting through this time is to actually relax and go with the flow. Your powers of association will be stronger than your analytical abilities, and this will give you a different kind of perspective. You’ll be able to get into the hearts and minds of the people you’re dealing with, so you can really examine matters from their point of view. Not only will this give you remarkable insight, but it will do wonders for your sensitivity skills — which is not exactly a Gemini strong suit. Geminis tend to speak first, feel later. Meanwhile, review investments on Friday. It looks like you will get a return that’s much greater than what you initially anticipated.

CANCER (June 20-July 21)

You know that person you stopped talking to a while back? Maybe it’s the friend who betrayed you, the sister-in-law who badmouthed you or the co-worker who hooked up with that guy you were angling for. Well, this just so happens to be the very person who can help you get something that you want right now. The only sticking point is that you’re going to have to break the ice and ask. It’s a hard call because your pride says no. It feels like you’re adding insult to injury. However, your pragmatic side may have a different take on matters. It’s always a good idea to listen to your pragmatic side when Saturn trines Mercury like it will on Tuesday. You may not see this as atonement for the wrong that was done to you, but it is. Not only has this person been looking for a way to make amends (yes, there really is a conscience in there somewhere), but she will do everything in her power to ensure that you get what you want. Meanwhile, don’t fret if you miss the boat on Valentine’s Day. The Moon’s void-of-course during the evening hours of the 14th anyway, so it’s not like anyone’s making a great love connection. But Sunday tells a very different story. The Moon’s exaltation in Taurus in the early afternoon shows that you will find romance where you least expect it.

LEO (July 22-Aug. 21)

It’s not easy being born under a zodiac sign that’s ruled by the Sun because all eyes are on you. People expect you to work your special magic when you arrive on the scene. You can generate excitement, boost sales, bolster confidence and light the way just by entering the room. You can turn around just about any downward spiral by sheer force of optimism. But what can also happen if you’re not careful is that you can get drawn into signing up for lost causes that are better off not being found. This will become abundantly clear on Friday when information surfaces that shows that you backed the wrong horse. It looks like a friend or co-worker found himself caught in a lie and made matters worse by trying to cover things up. And when that happens — as any politician can tell you — things invariably go to hell in a hand basket. Thankfully, it’s better to know the truth than to be kept in the dark, so there’s plenty of time to salvage the situation. Yet the question remains — what are you going to say to all of those people you saw as being unfair and bullying and whom you gave a dressing-down to? It looks like you have some apologizing to do over the weekend. But take heart because this will prove to be an enormous boost to your credibility and approval ratings.

VIRGO (Aug. 22-Sept. 21)

You’re used to everyone coming to you with their problems, but what do you feel about them coming to you with their secrets? That’s what will be happening on Monday and Tuesday when your Ruling Planet Mercury forms sensitive aspects to Saturn in Scorpio and Pluto in Capricorn. You can expect to learn more than you ever wanted to know (along with some mental pictures that you could happily live without) about people that you thought you knew better than they knew themselves. However, things will get sticky when you are sworn into confidence about a matter that could prove upsetting to someone who is very close to you. Unfortunately, the person swearing you to secrecy is just as close — if not closer. What to do? Nothing really. All you have to do is lend an ear and a shoulder because Saturn and Mercury turning retrograde next week presage more WTF moments to come. Meanwhile, you will receive some timely financial advice on Friday. This could be a hot tip pertaining to buying, selling or sinking a chunk of money into a company whose name you don’t recognize. The window of opportunity is short (things are always speedy and of the moment when Mars is involved), but there are other planetary factors involved that ensure that this would be an excellent idea. Indeed, you could make quite a killing as long as you act fast.

LIBRA (Sept. 22-Oct. 21)

Usually Saturn in your solar house of finances signals debt, but its sextile to Pluto shows that you may actually be in the process of collecting on money that is owed to you. This could be an inheritance, tax return, scholarship or government benefit. You’ll want to be extra careful about dotting every i and crossing every t because next week’s retrogrades signal that details overlooked now will come back to snag you later. It’s better to anticipate complications rather than to be blindsided by them, so keep computer file copies and paper copies of all pertinent documents handy so you can fax, scan or text should any questions arise. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Meanwhile, it looks like you have exhausted all of your options and have no choice but to face the music regarding an intensely personal matter on Friday. Ironically, you may discover that the best approach was the direct approach after all, and you probably could have saved yourself a lot of time and trouble. But this is what comes of being a Libra. You can’t help but weigh everything in the balance. Hopefully, you’re beginning to see how your initial take on things is pretty much on target and that you should really trust your judgment more. Not only will it cut down on mental stress, but you’ll have less emotional messes to clean up after.

SCORPIO (Oct. 22-Nov. 20)

It’s hard to believe that you will be revisiting a problem so soon after having just “resolved” it. But Scorpios have a Godfather III-like relationship to family dramas and traumas. As Michael Corleone says “just when I thought I was out, they keep pulling me back in.” The best way to deal with a contested matter like this is to take the bull by the horns. You get nowhere by saying it’s none of your business (when others keep insisting that it is) or by believing that if you draw boundaries, people will respect them (because they won’t). You’re better off adopting a zero-tolerance policy, and if that means splashing cold facts in people’s faces and bitch-slapping recalcitrant types into line then so be it. Family members like it when you tell them what to do; they feel neglected when you leave them alone, and negative attention is better than no attention at all. Thankfully, you’ll be getting all kinds of positive attention from someone you’ve been looking to impress on Friday. You’ve been waging an uphill battle for weeks as this person put you off time and time again. It will be nice to see that your heroic efforts have been worth it. You’ll want to memorize this feeling for when Saturn’s retrograde on February 18 introduces a new delay or complication. Thank heavens you like it when people are hard to get.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21-Dec. 20)

It’s amazing what happens when you wake up and smell the coffee. You’re like a Sagittarian ablaze — full of vim, vigor and more importantly: resolve. Now that the light switch is on, you’re through with fumbling around in the dark, and you won’t stop making changes until you have reworked the priorities in your life so that they are set up in the way that you want them to be. You are standing on the brink of an amazing breakout period where all the disparate pieces will come together to form a comprehensible whole. Now I say standing because Mercury is poised to turn retrograde on Feb. 23, and this will affect the settlement of a major piece of business or longstanding dispute. Your fiery side will push you to conclude matters before the 23rd, but you should wait until after Mercury comes out of retrograde on March 17 to sign your name to anything. Not only will you discover a number of hidden conditions and tripwire loopholes, but you will also see how someone was manipulating the game to their benefit. You can’t blame someone for trying to work things in his favor anymore than this person can resent you for being clever enough to catch on. You don’t have to confront him; just move the terms back to where they were originally. This puts you in the perfect position to start that new chapter of your life on March 20.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 21-Jan. 18)

It’s an enlightening week for you as information surfaces that will prove extremely useful. This could run the gamut from inside scoop to “off-the-record” conversation to the rediscovery of forgotten records, papers or books. It’s not every day when Pluto lifts the veil and gives you this kind of a behind-the-scenes glimpse into what’s really going on, so you’ll want to keep your eyes peeled and your ear to the ground on Feb. 11 and 12. Many blanks will be filled and inconsistencies explained. You will also see how you can use this knowledge to further your aims like never before. You are being dealt some valuable trump cards, so remember that you don’t have to play them right away. You have all the time in the world to lay them down as you please, so don’t jump the gun or allow others to force your hand. Meanwhile, it looks like you’re very close to solving a riddle that has vexed you for weeks. Close, however, is no cigar as you will discover on Friday when things don’t add up in the way that you thought they would. Don’t despair because your conclusion is right, even if your calculations are wrong. You will probably have to retrace your steps a few times, but be patient and diligent because you will soon discover the misstep, and that’s when everything will fit neatly into place.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 19-Feb. 17)

You’re stronger than you know — which is something you need to tell yourself on Feb. 11 and 12. You are under a lot of pressure to hold things together regarding a certain project, and it hasn’t been easy given the multiple monkey wrenches that a colleague and/or manager keeps tossing into the works. Remember Captain Sully? He was the airplane pilot who had to make an emergency landing in the Hudson river after a flock of Canadian geese flew into his engines. He’s an Aquarius just like you. And as long as you maintain your cool and keep saying “I can do this,” then you will experience success on Feb. 15. Now it may turn out to be your version of Sully’s water landing, but at least everyone will walk away from it in one piece and united in their praise for you. Meanwhile, it looks like you will have to take an unpopular stand regarding finances on the 17th. The bean counters have been raking you over the numbers for a few weeks, and it’s hard to disagree with their assessment of things. You will go back and forth on whether you should cave in to their demands, but it looks like you will wind up staying the course. Sometimes it pays to be pig-headed when you’re born under a visionary sign like Aquarius, and this is one time when your stubbornness will pay off big.

PISCES (Feb. 18-March 19)

Hang ten — because you’re riding high this week. There’s such an outpouring of water energy coursing through your horoscope that it will carry you along a virtual Gulf Stream of unstoppable flow. All of us draw from the same emotional reservoir, and nobody knows this better than Pisces. As a Child of Neptune, you have easy access to your memories, dreams and imagination. But when the watery energy is this powerful (like it will be on Feb. 11-12 and Feb. 15-16), then the unconscious waters overflow their banks and spill into the psyches of others. This can be good if you harness the energy in a way that is beneficial. If your motives are restorative, healing and rehabilitative, then you will turn hopeless situations into hopeful ones. However, if you use this energy to manipulate people’s psychologies — like telling them what they feel or using their secrets and confidences to bring them to heel — then the energy will turn against you and not in a pretty way. There’s always a moral obligation to do good when your Pisces energy is stirred up like this, but remember that doing good doesn’t mean you have to be selfless in a doormat kind of way either. Help yourself to the creative juices that will be powerful now. Not only will you be at your peak for the next four weeks, but you could turn a profit as well.

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