By now I’m sure you’ve heard, I have a boyfriend! His name is David and he’s everything I was looking for. Kind, cute, fun, devoted, and divorced. Yep, divorced. Why? Because divorced men are a girl’s best kept secret. Do your research but don’t discount a guy because he’s divorced. You might even want to give him some bonus points. It worked for me. I really can’t wait for you all to get to know David this season. So excited!
Here’s a few things to keep in mind about starting a new flame with “the divorced guy”:
Commitment
A divorced guy isn’t going to hide behind that lame defense of being a commitmentphobe. He’s taken the marriage plunge before, so you know he’s capable of commitment and isn’t one of the George Clooney types who will never settle down. His first relationship didn’t work and that might mean he’s a little more cautious with commitment this time around. That’s a good thing for you. You want to be with someone who is careful and gives your relationship a lot of thought before committing fully. Note: He still has to be willing to commit eventually.
Housebroken
I don’t think men are animals, but there’s just no better to say this: Divorced men come already housebroken. Another woman has done the hard work of teaching him to put the seat down, call when he’s late, and tread lightly during a bad week.
Experience
Divorced men have been around the block and I mean that in the best way. They have experience at the relationship rodeo and that can really benefit what you two have together. A man who has been married before is more likely to know what a healthy relationship looks like, what a failing one looks like, and how to tell the difference. He knows which mistakes can end a relationship and now that he’s made a few of them, he has learned a few lessons in love. In my experience, divorced men are really eager to do it right the second time around.
A small word of warning
I’m not saying that every divorced dude is a Prince Charming in disguise. You need to do your research—on him, his last relationship, and your compatibility—to be sure he’s a fit. Especially be wary of marriages that ended because he cheated. I’m not saying it’s an automatic deal breaker but it’s tough for an old dog to learn a new trick, especially when the trick is monogamy.
Thanks Patti! I had diqualified divorce men because I thought mostly about the “baggage” that might come along. You offer great points to consider!
I enjoyed this article! I def prefer the divorced man -they tell u wxactly what they want this time! True, there are still humans and there is a reason it didn’t work the first time. So I suppose I find myself weighing more on the positive with the realization that it requires work! Like all things it’s trial and error but with the right amount of communication and patience. Thanks for sharing!
Im a guy and this post is brilliant! Everything Patti said is true. If i were a woman, i would agree that the odds of a relationship working are better if the guy was divorced before. I would add that women should also put engaged guys i this category. I was engaged before and everything Patti said is how i feel!
On the other hand, divorced women are 50- 50 in terms of housebrokenness and emotional intelligence.
except if he has children. then you have to deal with the ex wife.
Yeah, well, make sure the guy is divorced, and that you’re not hunting a married man to *make* him divorced. Because *that* relationship is gonna faily.
Yeah AM, don’t sweat the baggage. Men don’t come standard with rear view mirrors. Women, OTOH…wow.
Good article Patti. I have to say that I am the second wife who he met while still married. He was miserable and jumped at the first chance he got. After nearly 14 years, we are still passionately in love. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of being with the wrong person. His ex isn’t a bad person and I have never bad-mouthed her, they were just plainly wrong for each other.
george clooney is divorced.
I married a man once married and divorced. He threatens divorce but would never ever divorce me. He knows what it is like to have someone reject him. He also would never think to abuse his kids this way and is mature enough to see how a strong relationship is necessary especially for their sake. And I was very comfortable with the fact he was broken in but that is not why I married him. Marie Osmond did what I have been wondering if my husband’s ex will do. Women are really turning into controlling manipulators at children’s expenses!