Who wouldn’t hire the swift and sexy Dermot Mulroney to sweep you off your feet? Lucky for Debra Messing’s character, their business arrangement blossomed into true love.
BUT — yes there is a “but” — even if you’re as beautiful and talented as Debra, it doesn’t mean you’ll find your own Dermot.
So, should you order in a man?
Escort services aren’t just available for men these days. It’s just as easy to find a male for hire. Within a few hours, you can have a man by your side to be whatever you want. Women today, like men, are empowered — we make our own money. If you want to spend it on an escort service, then that’s your choice, but consider the full picture before ordering your hunk.
What are the pros and cons?
Don’t expect to develop a bond with the men. Even if you regularly see the same person, assume that he is there because it’s his job. Women fall for men with their ears, so be careful not to misread his affection as the two of you are developing a deeper relationship. It doesn’t matter if it feels real when he’s charming and tells you how beautiful you are. If he’s walking away with a check, assume that he’s giving you what you want because that’s what you have hired him to give. If you’re able to keep your heart and head out of the equation to focus on the business transaction at hand, chances are you could have a great time with your hired hand.
If you’re having sex, don’t forget that he likely has other clients, which means that you are not just sleeping with him, but all of his clients, too.
The bottom line?
Save your money. Go buy a hot dress and go out on the town to find a date the natural way. Bring a book, smile at people, say hi. Flirt with the guy who bags your groceries at Whole Foods, the barista at Starbucks. You’re putting yourself in a position to find somebody worthy of a relationship that can fulfill your needs at no cost.
Read more: Can you handle a summer fling? >
The advice not to believe there’s a deeper relationship developing is right on and important. It goes for men too when paying for companionship and/or sex. You may fantasize about a relationship–in fact, you almost certainly will, if the contact is positive. But it’s extremely unlikely. The usual signs, such as compliments, pleasure on both sides, even love-like words, don’t count.
If you have multiple paid meetings, you can even mention your fantasies. You’ll exaggerate your own feelings, and you’ll imagine they’re possibly reciprocated. Don’t believe it! If you must, you can ask as clearly as possible, but this might end the commercial relationship, and almost certainly will get either a negative answer, or a false positive. Don’t believe anything unless it’s proven by a free dinner, a free encounter, and even then, hold onto your skepticism. One possibility is that the escort sees further profit possibilities in an insincere relationship.
If you can handle these facts, you can pay for company. Many men can handle the love-companionship-sex separation, but some can’t… some of these become stalkers… some just experience misery and suffering, or hostility. Women don’t have as much social sanction for casual sex or commercial companionship, so it’s even harder for many. If you can understand and internalize the facts… and can afford it financially and emotionally… enjoy your escort.
I’ve had some experience.
Alright, the male side of the equation. I was an escort for six years because I needed the money, and I found stripping to be a little too base. Some women were in fact trying to use the escort service as a dating service. I see the appeal and practicality but ladies do not do this!
Indeed most of us are in it for the money, we have to be because (at least for me) no woman I was truthful with about what I did in my side job stayed with me. So while the pay is good the price can be loneliness. Also the ire of my mother when she found out how I was affording my house payment.
As for me, sex was rare and ALWAYS protected. So my clients only slept with a grove of Hevea brasiliensis. In the agency I worked at the common slogan was “Never get your bread where you get your honey.”
I was actually Googling for a radar detector when I stumbled onto the article, what are the odds.
When I do become rich and affluent….I’m going to buy my men. Why Not? It is crazy out there and by putting on my Sunday best to find the week’s worst is a waste of my time. I know what I like and using a man for dates and sex falls right in line with how I want it. I know how to find what I like and I know how to hook them. No surprises and no excuses. A win win if you ask me.