A lot of people celebrate anniversaries of their first dates, their major relationship talks or their wedding day. But I really think relationships begin with the first “I love you.” It solidifies that you two are having more than just fun. You’re in a relationship. WhatsYourPrice.com just did a survey showing that 76 percent of serious relationships started with the man saying “I love you” first. While this might come as a shock to those who think that men aren’t as emotionally demonstrative in relationships, it makes total sense to me. Men should be the ones to say “I love you” first. Here’s why.
They’re born to do it
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again many more times in the future. Men are hunters. They need to go out and get what they want. Most of them are not born to be passive recipients. Saying “I love you” is a step in a relationship, just like a first date or a first kiss. Men want to be the ones to take that step first. Do I think men should be the initiators because women can’t do these things? Absolutely not. But I do think women initiating upsets the natural order of things and makes it tougher on the relationship. Saying “I love you” is a new chapter of a relationship, and men should be the one to turn the pages in the book of love.
Shows their commitment
Saying “I love you” is an undeniable commitment. It’s taking a giant leap forward in the relationship. When he says those three words to you first, it indicates that he wants to take that step forward with you. In an age when male commitmentphobia runs rampant, that first “I love you” is a nice sign from your partner, showing that he’s in your relationship for the right reasons.
Give him one last chase
Like I said above, men are hunters by nature. They also love the chase by nature. And him saying “I love you” first gives you a little power and him a little room to chase you, as long as you don’t say it back right away. Those few minutes, hours, days or weeks you wait between receiving the initial “I love you” and giving your own are a delicate dance. Your man is waiting for you to say something back. Of course, you should do what is natural to you and say “I love you” as you feel it. Don’t hold out just for the sake of holding out. But know that after you have sex for the first time, there aren’t many chases left in a relationship. So savor this.
Let’s do a quick poll in the comments. Who here said “I love you” first, and who had their guy say it first? Write “me” if it was you and “him” if it was him. Can’t wait for the results.
me casually saying love you when we say bye
him
Him!
Him after more then a year of dating!
he said it first on the phone casually. When I didn’t say anything back for a while, he later admitted that he didn’t say it again because he felt like I had shot him down. I eventually did say it and then found myself saying it to him a whole lot more than he said it to me.
I have a sex question – actually a non-sex question. For us single ladies that are all about the good relationship and agree on the no sex before monogamy rule, but take it a little further to no sex before marriage, how do we still satisfy our man and keep him happy while not compromising something we feel very strongly about? I love all the relationship advice I find out there, but struggle with how to make this part fit. Thanks!
Patti,
I second this! I would love to hear your thoughts on women (or men) who decide on no sex before marriage and how to make a relationship last (especially if the partner does not feel as strongly on the issue).
Thanks and hope to hear back from you!
Him. I didn’t say it back because I was a bit freaked out since I wasn’t expecting it at all. I don’t think you can put a time on it, but after hearing it for the first time, it really makes you think. I told my boyfriend I loved him a few weeks after.
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU SAY IT FIRST AND HE SAYS IT BACK BUT WE WERE BOTH DRINKING? AND NEITHER OF US HAS SAID IT SINCE THEN AND ITS BEEN 2 WEEKS? STUPID ALCOHOL UGGHHHHHHHHHH! HE SHOULD HAVE SAID IT FIRST I TOTALLY AGREE.
Him, after two amazing months.
Heck yeah, he should say it first! I’m all about girl power but if he wants to get the girl, he has to put in the effort! Of course, I say it back all the time now. A year on it still feels good to say it and even better to hear it!
I REALLY wanted to say it long before he did…I almost said it one night. I was shaking because I was so scared and he was concerned; but I chickened out. So now, I thought I’d wait until I went to visit him and his family next week…but he told me he loved me last night via text!! I never thought me would
I’m glad he said it first.
It was me who said it first, but we’ve been together for about 2 years now (the first time I said it to him was roughly a year ago), but tonight was the first night he said it first. Needless to say, I’m feeling really good about things right now!!